Not really. I am perfectly sane. Didn't you name your child before they were brought home from the hospital? Didn't you pick out a name for your cat or dog before they even left the pet store? See.....see the pattern. I HAD to name my chickens.
What do you name Chickens?
Most people say that if you name them, you will never eat them! Well...of course! Why would I eat a chicken? Look at them!! Just look at them...would you eat them?
Don't answer that....I think ignorance is bliss.
Anyway, the chicken that I would think of eating doesn't come with cute peachy feathery fuzz. It comes from the grocery store in the meat isle.
My chickens and those chickens are NOT even in the same category. Trust me...I know these things.
Lest we forget I am a city slicker and at one time I did in fact believe that meat came from the store and not a farm.
Anyway, back to naming chickens...that is where I was going with this right?
I had a feeling from the moment I got these chicks that they needed some regal, cool, out of the world names. Old school names...names that demanded respect, commanded an audience and screamed, "We are not to be eaten!!"
And since I had to purchase 2 chicks over my original self-imposed limit, I gave naming rights to Mom and Dad for them. My only condition was to stick with the old school names.
Marilyn Monroe hit the scene early....it just fit. My leghorn was going to be tall, leggy, and lean. That to me says Marilyn Monroe. We could pick her out anytime, she was and still is a bit taller than the other chicks. We made a connection. It felt great. We savored the name, let it roll off our tongues just because we could. I am sure I even pictured it in lights. I am sure you can too!
1 down......5 to go.....
Next came Mom and Dad's choices:
Loretta Young and Dinah Shore. I only know one of those namesakes.....but I liked the thought of a chicken called Loretta. So, they stuck. Since we couldn't tell the Amberlinks apart....just who was Loretta or Dinah was yet to be seen.
Please make note - Dad had open heart surgery on April 6th, he was not aware that his daughter had purchased chickens or even that he had been granted naming rights to 2 of them. That being said, when Dad became aware of said purchase and said naming rights...he decided one needed to be called.......wait for it......"Chicken Little". YUP, that was Dad's input. He didn't follow directions very well. In fact, in his mature age he is a rule breaker and this was no different.
I have secretly named one Dinah Chicken Little Shore. I don't think she minds. We are just now starting to tell them apart and she has the longest name in the coop. I am sure that will garner respect from the other chickens just as soon as they all find out who they are!
3 down.....3 to go......
I would pull names from the good ole days, Elizabeth Taylor, Katherine Hepburn, Mary Tyler Moore, Carol Burnett.....I liked them but they just didn't say Chicken to me. Ya know? I am sure you feel the same way.
My sister said Grace Kelly, a great name blaring with regal-ness.....
One friend suggested Audrey Hepburn.....another great suggestion, but I just didn't "feel" it.
I am sad to admit it, but since we are friends...here it goes....Madonna's song Vogue came onto the radio one day. Can I remind you of the lyrics if you don't know them?
Vogue, vogue
Beauty's where you find it
Move to the music
Vogue, vogue
Beauty's where you find it
Go with the flow
Greta Garbo and Monroe
Deitrich and DiMaggio
Marlon Brando, Jimmy Dean
On the cover of a magazine
Grace Kelly, Harlow, Jean
Picture of a beauty queen
Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire
Ginger Rogers, dance on air
They had style, they had grace
Rita Hayworth gave good face
Lauren, Katherine, Lana too
Bette Davis, we love you
Ladies with an attitude
Fellows that were in the mood
Don't just stand there, let's get to it
Strike a pose, there's nothing to it
Vogue, vogue
Vogue, vogue
BAM! Greta Garbo hit me! I mean, it WORKED....Just like Marilyn Monroe....it SCREAMED chicken. I LOVED it. I decided the largest of the Amberlinks was going to be Greta.
After Greta the names seem to just appear in my head. With the help of Madonna. ( Should I send her a Thank You?) Next, Ginger Rogers...of course. Ginger the chicken. Perfect!
It is not plagiarism if you steal a name from a song. The names were not Madonna's to begin with. I am good. I consulted an attorney.
Last but not least Bette Davis. Oh Bette, Bette, Bette.. The stories I have to tell about Bette. Bette is our "runt". She hangs out with Marilyn, she is no dummy! Smallest protected by the biggest....Bette is definitely NOT your average bird brain. She has it going ON!
Welcome home ladies...welcome home!
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